#posting some art i never got to post here!!!

[snowysaur]

2024 year in review/art summary. i realized i never made these for 2021-23 either so here's all of them. i think i haven't been drawing as much these past few years, oh well support me on: patreon | kofi | redbubble

[shecriestotheclickingoftime]

for the first time - 1.2k words

ex!Patrick Zweig x college!reader

you guys... i wrote something... and it ends abruptly but i felt like i'd rather post this and then post a follow-up later than keep this in the drafts for another 2 months...

inspired by "For The First Time" by Mac Demarco

based off of a request from a long time ago from @rayhalloffame but then i got inspired by the mac demarco song and lost the original plot- my sincerest apologies for that... (so so so sorry that this was so late and also that i lost the plot...)

basically patrick is your ex and you went off to college trying to forget about him, avoided him for a couple years, but this year you've brought back your new (shitty) boyfriend, taken him to your hometown bar, where patrick also happened to be.

tw! for drinking, also abrupt ending, also im not the best writer but i wanted to contribute something...

~~~~~~~~~~~

While she’s been away

Living day-to-day has been tough

Without her by my side

Simply being alive has been rough

And though she won’t be gone forever

There are many times I find it feels that way

And I’m not trying to forget her

Just understand how I’ll be feeling on that day

The bar was surprisingly packed, even for a Saturday night, and the overlapping conversations around him were so loud, it was hard for Patrick to even hear his own thoughts.

It was the weekend before thanksgiving, and it seemed that everyone was back in town for the holiday. Patrick recognized the faces of a lot of his old classmates from high school around him, but not you. 

He knew that you’d come back to town the past few years for the holidays, but he somehow never saw you out. He figured that you must’ve been avoiding him. You two hadn’t seen each other since the summer before you went off to college, the summer that you broke up with him.

He could remember it vividly: it was a hot July day, and you had told him to come over. You opened the door, looking like you had been crying for a while, having that closed-off look that Patrick hated. 

“I just… can’t go off to college with a boyfriend from back home. Long distance never works.”

Those exact words had been engraved in his mind since that day. Patrick Zweig had never been one for commitment, but something about you was different. Losing you had felt like losing part of himself. But he wanted you to do well in college, so he accepted it. And moved on.

Or, at least, he tried to. But even two and a half years later, things without you still didn’t feel right. Patrick felt pathetic; still stuck on some old childhood friend-turned-high school sweetheart that definitely wanted nothing to do with him. But, he still cared. 

So, here he was, standing next to his best friend Art, who had just come back from Stanford, in the middle of a loud, rowdy bar full of college kids. He already knew that you’d be avoiding him again this break, like you’d done for the past two years, but it didn’t sting any less to know that he’d go another year missing you, while you were off at college living your own life. 

Without her by my side

Simply being alive has been rough

It was right then that he saw you across the bar, standing in a group of girls that you’d been friends with back in high school, looking even more beautiful than the last time he saw you. 

You hadn’t noticed Patrick yet, and he was sure that when you did, you’d shut down and push him away again. You’d avoided him for so long, he was surprised that you two had even ended up in the same place. 

Next to you was some guy, standing stiffly and looking completely uninterested in whatever conversation you were having with your friends. It felt like a knife had just been shoved into Patrick’s stomach. He figured that you’d move on eventually, and he’s been with girls that he met on tour since he’d dated you anyways, but seeing you, with this boring, pretentious-looking guy felt unbearable. 

That “guy” was your boyfriend, of about 6 months now, that you’d finally brought home to meet your family. He was boring, and uninterested in the things that you liked, but he was stable, and seemed like a good option for you. So, you two had started dating. 

Everything with him was just… ok. He had a habit of talking down to you, making you feel dumb, and explaining things to you that you’d already known. He didn’t put much care into the relationship, he had never gotten you flowers or anything, but that’s just what guys are like, right? He treated you just fine, and you guys didn’t fight much, so it must be a good match. But something for you was just missing. 

He just… wasn’t Patrick. As much as you resisted admitting it to yourself, deep down you knew that you missed him. Which was basically why you had avoided him at all costs for the past two years, knowing that as soon as you’d start talking again, your progress of “moving on” would be completely wiped away. 

But now, the winter break of your junior year in college, you’d started to be less careful about avoiding the popular spots. Maybe it was just you being careless, or maybe you were hoping that you’d see him somewhere, at the bar, or the club, and have the “chance encounter” that’s been replaying in your daydreams since you started dating your current boyfriend. 

So, already on your third drink of the night, you couldn’t look away when you locked eyes with Patrick Zweig. God, he looked good. He’s gotten more toned from tour, and you’d forgotten just how tall he was. You could feel your boyfriend standing like a statue beside you, scrolling on his phone while your friend updated the group on all of the hometown gossip. But you couldn’t look away from Patrick. And he knew it.

Before you could fully process it, Patrick Zweig was there, standing in front of you. After two years. You wanted to roll your eyes at the smug look he was trying to keep pressed onto his face, but you could see the tenderness in his eyes as he looked at you. He looked so much… softer with you than he did with anyone else. You’d forgotten about that. 

Even your friends smiled when he joined the circle, standing across from you with an almost sheepish smile. Against all odds, they liked him as your boyfriend. At least more than they liked this stuck-up finance bro that you’d brought home this year. As your boyfriend, Patrick had almost become one of the girls, always joining in on a gossip sesh with you all as he held you on his lap, while this current guy acted like he was above that kind of “girly stuff”. 

And you just wanted to fall back into his arms. And god, he wanted that too.

But the idle chatter kept going, as you looked at the ground in silence. Your boyfriend didn’t pay any attention to your current state, he wasn’t paying attention to the conversation anyways. But Patrick did, he always did. 

“So… how have you been?” he asked, as you looked up hesitantly. And, at his voice, your boyfriend finally looked up from his phone. 

“She’s been good,” your boyfriend said, his face contorting into a bitter snarl. “I’m her boyfriend, by the way. Who are you?” he asked Patrick, his voice immediately sounding defensive.

The conversation passed by uncomfortable between them, as you dissociated from the scene before you. Your boyfriend sucked. You missed Patrick. And maybe it was wrong to break up over something like that, but in that moment, you just couldn’t care. 

Finishing your third drink, it all passed by in a blur. You pulled your boyfriend away for a second, ending that relationship before you did anything else. It was impulsive, and not your best moment, but honestly it needed to happen. 

And you ended up back with your friends, as your boyfriend ubered back to the hotel, talking and laughing with them, feeling at home for a moment. 

The rest of the night passed by in a blur, as you fell back into Patrick’s arms as the conversation with your friends continued, him laughing alone, his arms snaked around your waist from behind as you leaned against him, the haze of the bar finally feeling relaxing, instead of too loud or too chaotic. 

[cheriboms]

i dont really know game lore, i just like the friendly robot :]

(original b&w sketch under cut)

(i forgot my watermark on this one so pls dont steal lol ;w;)

[sirhamburrger]

Can I get a earl grey with 100% sugar and a crossiant on the side for Rin Itoshi 🙏(the link didn’t work for the post 💔)

sure! let's double-check your order first, shall we? ➼ earl grey -------- friends to lovers ➼ (100% sugar) --- fluff ➼ croissant -------- drabble/oneshot ➼ for r. itoshi ------ who's only ever got soccer on the brain... and you! ➼ total ------------- 649 words ➼ contents -------- slightly possessive rin, pda, bad pacing, pda at the end, it also probably doesn't get good until the end alright, here you go! presenting...

on soccer and you (r. itoshi x reader drabble) courtesy of kai’s cat café! - 150 followers event

café menu || order progress asks closed.

rin itoshi's life revolves around soccer. if he’s in a good mood, soccer is probably the reason why - a good game, maybe, or a new skill learnt. if he’s in a bad mood, it’s probably also to do with soccer. busy? likely busy with soccer. even if he’s not busy, his mind is probably fixated on his next game or practice session. rin itoshi lives his life as if the world were a soccer field and every moment, a match waiting to be played.

so, naturally, he does everything like he plays soccer.

he does his schoolwork like he plays soccer. cautious, careful, calculating. you see it in every clinical movement, every learned thought spoken aloud, every smooth glide of his pen across paper. his handwriting is as precise as his passes, sharp and deliberate. he doesn’t rush, doesn’t stumble; every stroke of his pen carries the weight of strategy. 

he eats like he’s fueling for a game. every meal is a calculation, a perfectly balanced equation of proteins, carbs, and nutrients. there’s no indulgence, no whim - just discipline. he knows his body is his weapon, his tool, his masterpiece, and he treats it as such.

even in casual moments, when others laugh and talk freely, rin is observing. his sharp teal eyes scan the room like he’s analyzing a pitch, reading movements, predicting plays. it’s not that he doesn’t want to relax; he simply doesn’t know how. soccer has taught him to always stay one step ahead, to think three steps forward - a permanent lens.

and his relationships with other people? they may as well just be another match to him, since he approaches them with the same mindset: cautious, intentional, always thinking about the long game. emotions aren’t things he shows easily; they’re like the ball at his feet - kept close, controlled, never exposed unless absolutely necessary.

and then there’s you.

if he’s the star player, you’re his number one fan, his cheerleader. always watching from the sidelines, supporting him. this is how it’s been since the two of you met in elementary school. people might think rin's more than a little scary, but that’s not true; he’s the best friend you could ask for. you go to all his matches, and if you have some kind of play, or art exhibition, or piano recital, he’ll be there. 

in a way, he’s your number one fan as much as you are his.

being around you doesn’t feel so much like a game of soccer, and that’s precisely what he likes about your friendship. with you, he can finally be his true self, and not what other people think he should be.

you’re worried that will change when you start dating him. going from being best friends to being in a serious relationship - well, the transition itself isn’t all that hard. but you’re worried that he’ll change the way he sees you, change the way he treats you. and in a way, he does. every date is planned out to perfection, every element falling into place like the pieces of a puzzle.

but, as everyone who’s seen him play knows, he gets unpredictable when he gets excited during a match.

he brings you huge bouquets of flowers sometimes, so big you need three vases to fit them all. you’re craving a really specific food? he’s running down to the convenience store at 2am for you, or looking up a youtube tutorial for it. when guys hit on you - in his presence, no less, the nerve of them - he’s pulling you into a heated kiss that leaves you stuttering and breathless. 

and he kisses you in front of the crowds too when he wins his games, uncaring of hundreds of people seeing your public displays of affection.

so yeah, he’s unpredictable when he gets crazy over you, just as he gets crazy over soccer. but you’re sure not complaining.

end.

a message from the café owner:

this request was pretty fun to work with, thanks for this anon! rin is getting to be one of my favourite characters so i'm probably going to be writing for him more and more (and two seperate times within this event LOL) and sorry about the link 😢

café menu || order progress

© sirhamburrger || [general m.list]

[apoloadonisandnarcissus]

Finally got to see “Nosferatu” (2024) and what a masterpiece. Peak gothic horror, my teenage self came alive with this film. This is truly for the gothic horror, history and folklore enjoyers.

Eggers brings the audience into the Victorian era; not only visually but on the storytelling itself. There are so many layers happening here. This film is a meditation on sex and death, modernity and spirituality, science and superstition. It’s set in the 19th century, at the dawn of the modern Western world; and as Europeans move towards technology and science, they drift away from folklore and pagan religions. It’s no coincidence that Orlok comes into Germany to terrorize a city, the ultimate symbol of civilization.

Our protagonist Ellen is a seer, a medium, an “enchantress” like Orlok calls her, and even Von Franz recognizes she could have been a “Priestess of Isis” had she been born in pagan times. Unfortunately for Ellen, she was born in the “wrong era” and she’s brutally medicalized for her gifts, being diagnosed as a “melancholic hysteric somnambulist” aka hyper-sexual depressive and suicidal. She’s able to see beyond the realm of the living, which causes her to summon and awake Orlok from his centuries old nap, at the beginning of the movie, and develop a psychosexual connection with him; which is, indeed, what separates this story from the other “Dracula” adaptations.

Count Orlok is the archetypal Death, here; which culminates with the “Death and the Maiden” motif at the end. This was a very popular Art History archetype around the so-called “Plague years” (14th to 16th century) in Europe, and it’s often connected with other motifs like “Danse Macabre” and “Memento Mori”. It has several meanings depending on the author intent, usually a reminder of our mortality, but also a meditation on sex and death, as in the French “la petite mort” (“little death”), the post-orgasm sensation, sexual release potentially causing temporary loss of consciousness (fainting) or dizziness. In the Medieval Ages, physicians believed orgasms could lead to death because they drained the “life force” from the body. This was when the term “petite mort” was created, and this belief persisted into the Renaissance and beyond. In “Nosferatu” this probably translates in the sexual pleasure that Orlok imprints on his victims as he drains their life force.

Thomas is a ambitious young man who marries Ellen, and he craves the status and the money his long-friend Friedrich Harding has. At Thomas’ side, Ellen “gifts” appear to have been blocked, and she’s able to lead a “normal life”. This caused her to developed a somewhat co-dependent relationship with him. And this makes me ask: does Ellen truly loves him or does she loves the idea of herself with him? Ellen profound need to feel loved also extends to her friendship with Anna, and she even thanks her for loving her. This is also a desire she expresses to Orlok, as she accuses him of being incapable of loving her (in the human sense), this being the reason for her resisting to succumb to his offer (Thomas loves her, he doesn’t).

Many interpretations have been brought forward about Ellen story (abuse, grooming, etc.), personally I disagree. I see it as a metaphorical story of depression (Ellen not only gets diagnosed with “melancholy”, the Victorian equivalent for “Depression”, but she also presents a lot of synonyms of Bordeline Personality Disorder), and how it can wreck havoc on the lives of those around us when the proper medical treatment is not available, and it culminates with Ellen joining Orlok/Death = committing suicide. Like Orlok himself, she can never be satiated with the world of the living, and finds fulfillment in death, and him as a “past lover” can be interpreted not only with suicidal ideation but actual attempts.

The influence of Grand Guignol theatre is also visible in some scenes, where horror and comedy are blended. Some scenes are indeed very theatrical and this seems intentional.

Personally, I didn’t find this film scary (as in terrifying). It’s macabre and eerie, for sure. Visually, it’s stunning. Amazing cinematography, very atmospheric and dream-like. Customs and sets are incredible. A feast for historians like myself. I was gushing over the medieval architecture of Orlok castle because of course I was. The attention to detail in this film is incredible. I absolutely loved Orlok character design as the “Renaissance plague carrier”.

[wardingshout]

Since I didn't draw anything for like half of 2024 I did an updated colour wheel instead! featuring only the newest of stuff I could find that fit.

I have also compiled a dump of many thoughts I want out of my head, like a little text post dump I guess. the tldr I guess I will just make "thank you".

Putting the most important thing first here which is. Every single time I catch myself thinking "no I need to draw smth other than alttp" a couple of very specific tags and messages pop into my head and I get so fired up to draw more alttp !!! the power I feel from that!!!!!

IIIIII feel like there used to be a way to do linebreaks but I can't remember how so my new text bit divider is random crap I can find lying around in my files

Ok here goes me being dramatic about something that only matters to me but feels so very important to get out for the sake of others too. I guess the gist of it is that tumblr is a rly important place to me and I'm so endlessly grateful for people always being so nice. at the end of the day I don't think I really care about much else in life than drawing and getting to share it with others makes it a much less lonely experience for me. I mostly just for myself, but I'm so grateful for the extra joy associated with posting it online too.

I feel a bit bad I can never seem to give back the kind of nice energy you guys give me. despite how much joy this place brings me, I'm just a naturally anxious person and I often chicken out of doing things myself. I'm so endlessly happy that people still bear with me or at least stick around to look at my art.

thanks to people's kindness I often find myself breaking out of the anxiety and getting a lot closer to initiating stuff myself, but I always get run over by some kind of irl issue instead, usually mental, but recently also physical health. I had so much fun on here this summer especially and I was so certain that this was the time I would make it last only for irl stuff to yet again show up and knock me out completely. every time that happens I feel like I have to rebuild whatever social bravery I had aquired from the beginning again and at this rate I won't ever get anywhere.

after weeks of very few work days, I feel like I'm finally rebuilding the courage to post and the concentration to manage drawing at all. it's not a lot of progress but I can feel it growing. from tomorrow it's back to full time work with no other breaks in sight and I'm scared my groove will be cut short already... I like my job but I've acknowledged I just can't thrive with full time work. I can bear it fine though, but it doesn't leave energy for much else in life.

I think the point here is. I know it's just social media but I've had so many good experiences on here and they're really precious to me. I hope one day I can be well enough to be that kind of influence for others too. my activity with art and presence online has become surprisingly reflective of how well or bad I'm doing irl, so I never I never want to give up on become a more present person.

the most important thing is art though, so finding the courage to get back to posting even if it's all I do, makes me happy too. thank you so much to everyone else who posts are too. I'm endlessly excited about all the cool things I get to experience and see online, thank you!

it is absolutely absurd how many drafts I have of just very frustrated moments where literally all I type is "if I have to be sick one more time I will lose my absolute mind holy shit" and having just been sick again? really feeling that !!!! it's also like. frustrating to feel you're making progress mentally and then you constantly get knocked into bed by phsyical health instead like come on I'm finally learning how to get Out of that place... and then every time you get sick, routunes have to be rebuild all over after, it suuuuucks....

I finally got a PC which has been absolutely life saving, However. I am still drawing on tegaki only... I'm so excited I can get back to bigger works on csp but I've gotten so used to seeing only my tegaki stuff, I'm scared of how much I'll suddenly hate my art when I see it differently again... hating your own art is probably a feeling that will never disappear but even so. I think I'm at a pretty content place right now and I'm worried about shaking it up. I can't let something like that knock me down when I'm only finally getting back to drawing regularly again... I already copied over the palette for some comfort so hopefully I can find a brush that feels similar too! at least I'm super excited about getting to pick some more colours !

and a very belated tag game thing !! I completely lost the original post by now but it was from @lele5429 and I've had it in my drafts this whole time, so better late than never to fill it out!

Last song: Alt Hvad Jeg Vil by Von Quar

Fav colours: warm yellows or light oranges!

Last book: switching between Assassin's Quest and Our Wives Under The Sea!

Last movie: The Princess Bride I think?? it was long ago so I feel like I'm forgetting something else though...

Last tv show: my roomie and I binged Twin Peaks season 3 as well as most of True Detective over christmas break we went Ham

Sweet/spicy/savoury: sweet !!

Relationship status: not interested

Last thing I googled: "nosferatu rats"... I see.....

Current obsession: alttp auish shenanigans... this one has not changed since I first drafted my response to this... on one hand I feel like I'm just filling out the gaps between games, but on the other it's getting very close to full au stuff... I always wanted to draw comics but had no ideas and for the first time in my life I'm drowning in ideas and fully held back by fear and skills haha

Looking forward to: actually surprisingly nothing at all? I'm looking forward to whatever good times I can create for myself I guess. the last few things I was looking forward to didn't go so well, so maybe it's nice to have nothing but the most normal and boring daily life ahead haha

[fellshish]

genuinely, how do you write for yourself fully?

while i write for myself and post what i want etc. i always get suck on feeling kinda sad afterwards cause i barely get any interactions on tumblr, which i suppose isn’t that bad, but the 50/60 hits on ao3 and only like 5 kudos make me sad. i truly don’t think my writing is awful, like it’s a work in progress especially since english isn’t my native language, but i just always find myself a bit discouraged.

i feel you, anon. it’s rough out there. and it feels so random. like sure i have worked hard on developing my writing the past few years and on kind of building an audience, but i recognise there was also a whole lot of luck involved and i still remember what it was like to receive very little kudos and feeling sad and discouraged. (i will say the feelings of self doubt etc might never fully leave, but that’s a different matter altogether).

i’ll say this: ‘write for yourself’ as a slogan is an empty one if you fully think about it. the only person who truly writes for themself is the one who never publishes (and even they might entertain some kafka fantasies of being discovered after death). the core of ‘write for yourself’ however holds some truth: if you get joy from the act of writing more than the act of receiving positive feedback, you are invincible. if you write what you want to read, and you can look back on your progress? that’s a reason to be proud of yourself, no matter how much engagement you got. you created something out of nothing, you put something out in the world that nobody had put out there before. amazing, right?

but this is fandom. it’s all about engaging, and i don’t mean that in an annoying content creatory way but as a way of human connection. a part of the joy of sharing your art, for free, is making that connection. getting that comment, that kind tumblr reblog. it’s not shameful to admit you like compliments. every fanfic author has a praise kink.

both are true: we write for ourselves and for others. we live in a society etc

now that that’s out of the way, here are my thoughts on getting more readers, more comments, more kudos, and more reblogs — which i think is the core issue of your ask.

to start quite generally: there’s been a decline in reblogging fanworks - including fics - on tumblr, and i think we bear a collective responsibility here to make this a reblogging website again.

and of course your ao3 statistics depend on how big your fandom (still) is. on how good you tag your works, too, because that’s how a lot of readers find fics. on how good a summary you write, on how popular certain tropes or pairings are that you’re into, if you use a sufficient amount of paragraphs for easier reading etc.

also, you say your native language isn’t english? neither is mine. i found it helpful to work with beta readers, some of whom have now become close friends. they improved my english and the content of my fics, and we boost each other’s works. win-win.

i’ll give you the advice i was given a few fandoms ago: engage, too. by leaving comments on other writers’ works, you can build friendships and might get them to click your ao3 name too. by joining discords and reading the fics of the writers there, or by reading a tumblrina’s fic and reblogging it with kind tags, or by signing up for a bang, by writing holiday themed fics if that inspires you, or a fic inspired by an artwork, … basically, by engaging in fandom and making friends and having fun, but also: leaving comments will sometimes mean getting comments in return, too.

to be clear i’m not saying ‘engage with other fans to get comments’. no. engage to experience the absolute joy of fandom, and more kudos / comments / reblogs etc might become a fun side effect.

[takeitwithgrace]

art-dump before the 28th. 🤙🤙🤙

[jsheios]

So Hilda season 3. (This post has nothing to do with hilda season 3)

[paintedcrows]

There you are, hiding from your friend Bill, are we?

Or, why you should never let your demon near your brother pet cat. Fan art for the wonderful fic 'How to Cat Burglar a Family' by @dark-lord-of-awesomeness! It's now complete! And (despite how this looks) very sweet!!

[ganondoodle]

Empress and her Bodyguard.

(OCs, grey haired lady Zaphira she/her, demon Shargon he/they)

(also some details up close)

and this guy bc i find him funny

[departedmars]

british people

[bixels]

Cleaning out my art folder. Here's some old stuff that I never finished/posted.

For context, first art is old fanart I drew of DeusExMak's Hornet and Lace's human designs. Might redraw it as Silksong's release gets closer. Second is a DunMesh-inspired story I had about fantasy Asian characters going on a journey to the West. Fifth is a quick comic of Akkaapie and I's old DunMesh OCs. The rest is just general fanart I lost steam on finishing.

[echoes-of-the-unknown]

Human! Perry is on the brain and it is a delight to draw

More doodles!

[hinamie]

there was a third picture from that one shoot apparently

rest of my redraws can be found here!

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

In Regards To Your 2024 Summary:

Holy shit it’s been another year????? The hell?????

Also! Your art style is gorgeous and that being found in 2023 and then refined throughout late 2023 and the entirety of 2024 really shows, as does your growth in panel layouts, perspective, and — as you said — experimentation. If you ever post your animation or video game art I’m looking forward to it.

As cheesy as it sounds, being able to laugh at funny comics and look at all the details of your art really made my 2024 brighter, even when things were hard. Including looking at your older art— it doesn’t need to be new to be enjoyable! I’m glad your art is well loved and it’s a privilege to have been here since the (near) beginning. I hope you take care of yourself in 2025 and beyond!

You and your art bring a lot of people a lot of joy never forget that <3

Thank you so much for keeping up with my art journey throughout these last two years! Two years!!! I am baffled at how that feels both too long and too short!

Admittedly, my art summary didn't manage to capture the fact that I did a lot of comic layouts that I'm really proud of. I also drew more backgrounds and made some very detailed works (*Dungeon Meshi spoilers for these examples*).

The growth is lot more evident when comparing my 'best' comics of 2023 to 2024:

Sometimes the growth is vertical, sometimes it is horizontal - and damn, sometimes it goes out of sight into the Z-plane. But it is always happening!